Creating New Patterns in 100 Days?

Day 8 of 100

“The stories we tell about ourselves keep us stuck in old patterns.” - Jess lively

Hearing this quote from Jess Lively (one of my fave podcasters) was a big A-HA! moment for me. It is true that what we say about ourselves and the stories that we repeat over and over to other people are the things that end up turning into beliefs and patterns we live out daily.

There are many things I say to and about myself that are unflattering and self-deprecating. I also repeat old stories to be funny or to fit in with whoever I am talking to. There are plenty of stories that don’t feel like they “fit" me anymore but if needed I can still rehash them over and over.

There are also the things I say about myself like "Don’t ask me to figure that out, I am bad with math" or “Don’t tell me, I can’t remember anything”. Or "I am too old, too cheap, too whatever" - These insidious little statements may seem like nothing but repeated over and over without examination become part of your persona like it or not.

Recently, during a musical I worked on, one of the actors kept telling everyone how he broke everything he touched and he shouldn’t be trusted to carry anything. For the record, he did not break anything during our run but with those sort of statements he will be remembered as a person who breaks things. Even though he did a great job in the musical he lessened his own self-worth by repeatedly telling that story about himself.

For a few years now, I have tried to be more conscious about what I say about myself in front of other people. I try not to repeat stories to others that portray me in a negative fashion or doing something I’ve out grown. I don’t like defining my self by titles or descriptions and I try not to do that to others. I am conscious of self-criticism in front of my girls. I don’t bash my weight or my hair but I do realize that I talk a lot about looking old and not remembering way more than I should and I cringe every time I catch myself repeating some old story that does not ring true just to fit in with whoever I am talking to. I still have work to do.

One definition of the word pattern is a model or guide for making something. You use a pattern to make the same dress over and over again. You use a pattern stencil because you want the same shape repeated over and over again. The more patterns we act out in life the more we just repeat the same results over and over again. I, for one, am tired of a lot of the patterns I have been living out for the past 30 years. How can I grow or get new results when I am just repeating the same old patterns?

To change a pattern or a habit you have to be intentional and conscious about what you say and do –therein lies the difficulty. I will be the first to admit that I live most hours of my day unconscious and unintentionally reacting to whatever is happening at the moment.

I am not sure how I can quickly change that but I do know that since I've tried to be more conscious of what I say about myself and the stories I tell I have been writing some new patterns. Maybe awareness is the way to consciousness? I’m still trying to figure that one out! But I do know that we all need to keep creating new patterns because the old ones get outdated.

I wonder, what do you say about yourself? What stories do you continue to tell that should probably be retired? It's definitely something worth examining.

I am hoping this 100 day project will get me into some new patterns of making art and of sharing it. I have already found it to be difficult to fit in my day and I am only on day 8! Oh well, only 92 more to go…

Below are some of the quotes and illustrations from days four through 7.

If you are trying to take on something new this year I hope things are going well for you. As always, thank you for reading!

XO Beth

Day 7/100

Day 6/100

Day 5/100

Day 4/100

Mexican Loteria - Virgin of Guadalupe

Recently I did a series of Mixed Media paintings based on Lotería Mexicana cards. Lotería Mexicana is a brightly colored game that is similar to Bingo. I fell in love with the cards years ago after seeing them in a store. I was smitten by their bright colors and simple pictures. I started painting them because I wanted a giant lotería card to hang in my house.

In the game, when a card is drawn the image is called out by using a riddle instead of the name on the card. I’ve included the Spanish riddle with the paintings. These paintings are an update or a re-imagining of the original cards. I plan to post about them here. The first painting is a play on the “La Dama” card.

Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe “Our Lady of Guadalupe” mixed media, Beth Dougherty

“Puliendo el paso, por toda la calle real.” (Polishing as she steps, all along the royal streets.)

Arguably, the Virgin of Guadalupe could be the national symbol of Mexico. 

In 1531 the Virgin Mary appeared to Juan Diego outside of Mexico City and asked for him to build a church. The story goes that the bishop demanded a sign before he would approve construction of a church. Mary appeared a second time to Juan Diego and ordered him to collect roses. In a second audience with the bishop, Juan Diego opened his cloak, letting dozens of roses fall to the floor and revealing the image of Mary imprinted on the inside of the cloak. That image is now venerated in the Basilica of Guadalupe.

Below are a few details from the painting.  

Detail of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe “Our Lady of Guadalupe” mixed media, Beth Dougherty

Detail of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe “Our Lady of Guadalupe” mixed media, Beth Dougherty

Detail of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe “Our Lady of Guadalupe” mixed media, Beth Dougherty

Detail of Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe “Our Lady of Guadalupe” mixed media, Beth Dougherty

Thank you for reading! 

Beth

The original “La Dama” card. 

Art Journal Q & A

Recently a friend asked my advice on what they needed to do to create their own “art journal.” I thought I would use this space to answer her.

So friend, you want to go down the rabbit hole of art journaling?

Like any other art related endeavor don’t be afraid to get caught up in it! The good news is, if you are a recovering scrap-booker, rubber stamp collector or other craft related junkie you can re-use all your supplies in your new art journal. - Just think - you don’t have to beat yourself up anymore for starting to scrapbook that vacation 10 years ago and loosing steam, you were planning to repurpose your supplies all along. It’s a good thing you bought those tubs of decorative papers and stickers… (oh wait, maybe I am just talking to myself here.)

Art journaling is a fun low-stakes way to allow your creativity to flow. Your art journal is your personal way of processing visually - whatever you want to. Here are some basics to get you started.

Here’s my journal. I did not follow the good paper rule and it won’t stay shut :-(

Choosing Your Journal

You will need a sketch book or “journal,” preferably without lines. Do yourself a favor and get the best quality paper you can afford. Paper is measured by weight, “lbs” pounds in the US and “gsm” grams per square meter overseas. The higher the weight the more paint, water, glue, etc. your paper will be able to withstand . Traditionally sketch books are made for sketching (duh!) so it can be hard to find one with a heavier weight. Several companies make a sketchbook geared to mixed media or mixed supplies 90lbs or 190gsm should do. If you want to go high end, you can use a journal with watercolor paper that weighs 140lbs or 300gsm.

Images from books, old patterns, handwritten notes, sheet music and book pages can all make interesting collages.

Just one of my image stashes.

Supplies

Stock up on Sharpie pens, magic markers, pencils, crayons, watercolor paints, etc. to add color and decorative elements to your page.

Collect a variety of images. I have several envelopes full of images that I have snipped out of magazines, clipped from newspapers, found on the ground or collected from other random places.
If a graphic or sentence catches your eye, grab it. You never know when you will be able to use it on one of your pages. If you really get into this journaling habit I recommend an accordion folder to organize your pictures by colors or words.

You can find all sorts of printed patterns and pictures in places you never noticed before. The inside of envelopes you get from the bank tend to have pretty patterns. Fortunes (from a Chinese restaurant) make a great starting quote for a journal page.

WARNING: If you print out an image on an ink jet printer, it will run if it gets wet from paint or glue.

Glue

The glue you use depends on what you plan to do on your journal page. For most pages a good quality glue stick will do the job. If you are using a thick almost cardboard like paper (think cereal box) you may need to use a liquid craft glue (Elmer’s school glue) and let it sit for 30 minutes. If you plan to layer over an image with paint or another medium then you will want to use something called “matte medium” if that is the case - Congrats! you are taking your art journal practice to the next level. Matte medium is a mostly transparent paste you can brush on the back and front of the image you are glueing. If you use matte medium the image will be bonded to the paper in a way that makes it pliable and easy to paint over.

An art journal is your personal place for expression and collection. You can use it to work through ideas, collect quotes or make quick sketches of your surroundings. I like to carry around a small bag with all my art journal supplies to pass time on airplanes or when I am in a waiting room (It’s a better than mindlessly scrolling on your phone.) It is very satisfying to look though all the pages you have done previously.  It is like you have made a special book just for yourself - a small time capsule of sorts.

An art journal is a great place to collect inspiring quotes. (Beth Dougherty)

In my journal, I often take notes from podcasts I’m listening to or things I’m thinking about. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

This art journal spread was a good way to learn the phases of the moon. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

Sometimes it’s just fun to collect images and see where they go. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

If you want art journal inspiration just search these hashtags on Facebook or Instagram. You can also use these hashtags if you post your journal pages on social media.

#artjournal #artjournalpage #getmessyartjournal #visualjournal #scribblesthatmatter #journalart
#artjournaling #sketchbookart #creativejournal #dailyart #artjournaljunkie

I hope this post inspires you to get started on your own art journal. There is nothing as soothing as following through on your desire to be creative in any endeavor!

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post please leave a comment or press the “like” button.

Happy Journaling!

Beth

Parents Rejoice - School's In...Peace of Mind Is Restored

Here I sit in limbo. I'm back in my studio surrounded by stacks of finished paintings and half finished pieces that are also in limbo, forgotten still life set-ups I could never make interesting and a pile of junk that has slowly accumulated all summer because there was no place else for it to go. 

This happens every year. At some point my steady creative output stops. Usually it coincides with summer and the kids getting out of school. That long relished break from schedules and committments turns into something else. I always have good intentions, I am going to keep a sketchbook or something like that but I usually end up literally closing the door (the studio door) on that part of my life.  

Then every year about the end of August I feel crazy and totally off center. It is always comes out of the blue and is always a mystery to me. I can't wait for school to start again so I can have time alone to think. The excitement of May and June quickly turns into the despair and depression of late August.  

It happens every year and yet I somehow forget. Then it dawns on me, just like its the first time - "Oh! Its the work! Life is not dramatic and melancholy. It's just time to get back to work - back to creating." Then relief sets in, creative plans are made, hope is restored! I'll ease back into my art the same way I'll ease back into exercise and healthy eating! (LOL)

Life has seasons. Nature knows this and takes its break in winter. Somehow, I always forget this important cycle and I am hard on myself. Not only plants but people and ideas need time to take root too.

Just like the rose awakens in March and pushes out its green tendrils, I am waking up after summer. I'm getting ready to put out some tendrils of my own and dreaming of blossoms to come. Now, instead of depression I am excited for this new season!

What do you look forward to in fall? Football? Cooler weather? Do you have new things starting that have been put off all summer too? Let me know by responding to this blog.

Thanks for reading!
Talk to you later,
Beth

another stack of paintings...

Future-Thinking is Keeping You in the Past

I am a chronic future-thinker. Perhaps you are too? Future-thinking means always looking to get or do things in that elusive future date.

A general example is "When I make more money I will take that class or that trip I have always wanted to." Some things I always say to myself are "When I am finally painting and making money from my art work I will buy those bigger canvases I need for that series." or "When I have painted longer and sold more THEN I will explore how to lead a workshop." or my favorite go to "When I am selling paintings and making money I will finally stop feeling guilty for not having a real job."

The fault of the future-thinking premise is that of course there will never be a future in that sense. There is only the present moment. The present moment is where we actually operate from and make decisions that affect our "future." Future-thinking is actually thinking motivated by scarcity and feeling that you don't deserve something because you are telling yourself that whatever you want you don't have but hope to in the future. Again, it's never the future, its always the present moment. So you never actually get what your future-thinking self wants. Confusing, huh?

To make a mental shift we have to realize that we already are whatever it is that we want. We have to make decisions from that place instead of the future. 

Example: "I am going to configure my budget (or get on a budget) so I can take that class or trip I want to.",   "I am going to buy bigger canvases for the painting series I am doing because it will help my goals as an artist." or "I am going to explore leading an art workshop because I am a painter." or "Painting is my real job and the more I do it the more successful I become."

Rewording the future-thinking makes me feel better immediately! Try it yourself by filling in your own blanks:
"I am going to ________ because I am _______" or
"I am going to _________ because it makes me feel __________."
"I am exploring _____________ now because it will be fun."

Personally, I am working on getting out of the habit of future thinking. We can't put off our happiness and yearnings to retirement or when the kids get older or when you lose 20 pounds. We are worthy of what we want now simply because we choose it. What are you choosing today?

Do you fall prone to future-thinking too?
Leave me a comment and let's talk.

Until next time,
Beth

The Street that Leads to Fun

Its been a month since my last blog post. Thank you dear reader for even remembering me. In a world that delivers the same news and advertisements to your inbox three times a day, I am grateful if this infrequent blog post makes it through the noise! I want to tell you what I have been thinking about and doing this past month.

If you read my last blog, I know millions of you did, I was writing about making permanent changes this year instead of New Year's resolutions. I think often of the things I want to accomplish in this life and wonder why those things seem to come so slowly. You could say I need more patience or you could say I need to go about it differently. Different is the keyword here and that is what I was trying to hit upon with the poem about taking a different street (read post here). 

So, what does different mean? Instead of thinking in terms of things to accomplish this year I am trying to do things that bring me joy. It seems a simple thing but for me it is really hard. Usually, I orient my day toward "What am I supposed to be doing to accomplish x, y, or z?" I guess it is my upbringing or maybe a factory setting, but for some reason I am usually nose to the grindstone, working hard and seriously at whatever I am doing. Going for the joy is radical thinking and a total identity shift.

This year instead of asking what should I be doing to advance my art career or earn money, etc. I am asking what will bring me joy today? What am I thankful for? What will put me in alignment with God? I am trying to change my "future-thinking" habit (more on that another day) to present "I am" thinking. 

So what does that look like? Right now, it is something totally new.

Since being in Germany we have had many new opportunities other than travel. My kids have been active this year in the Kaiserslautern military community theater and that has inspired me. Starting last fall I have been helping make props and paint sets for their show. It has been really fun! I have tried to be very careful and only do what is fun and not over volunteer.

This past month, I actually auditioned for the upcoming play "Inherit the Wind." I got a part! I was nervous as hell but I did it. I overcame my fear. We have had a few practices and it has been a blast. When you do something you want to do even though you are scared to death it is such a great feeling. No matter what happens, you know you have grown larger and that can't be taken away from you, even if the outcome is not what you expected. I have also put in a lot of hours painting faux cathedral walls, wallpapering and painting a jukebox. All these things have gotten me nowhere in my art career or whatever else I have been "seriously" pursuing – but it has been a lot of fun! Painting the props and sets is very satisfying. There is a great feeling of accomplishment to be able to look at something you painted on stage and say "Wow, I did that!"

So far this year that seems to be my different street. I am trying to ask myself often, throughout every day if what I am doing is bringing me joy. I still have to unload the dishwasher, clean the kitty litter, ferry the kids back and forth, etc.  and do things that aren't considered joyful but I am happier doing those things when I have been having more fun in the day. And I am more playful with my kids!

I have attached some photos of recent theater stuff.

Question for you: What brings you joy? There are 9 billion people on this planet there must be 9 billion different ways to have fun. What makes you smile? I want to know so please leave a comment below.

Until next time, I am off to do some laundry and make a papier maché hookah for the "Alice In Wonderland" production. Sounds like fun to me!

Beth :-)

Cathedral walls for Sister Act, in progress.

Styrofoam Jukebox before & after

Some well loved brushes in the theater workshop.