Creating New Patterns in 100 Days?

Day 8 of 100

“The stories we tell about ourselves keep us stuck in old patterns.” - Jess lively

Hearing this quote from Jess Lively (one of my fave podcasters) was a big A-HA! moment for me. It is true that what we say about ourselves and the stories that we repeat over and over to other people are the things that end up turning into beliefs and patterns we live out daily.

There are many things I say to and about myself that are unflattering and self-deprecating. I also repeat old stories to be funny or to fit in with whoever I am talking to. There are plenty of stories that don’t feel like they “fit" me anymore but if needed I can still rehash them over and over.

There are also the things I say about myself like "Don’t ask me to figure that out, I am bad with math" or “Don’t tell me, I can’t remember anything”. Or "I am too old, too cheap, too whatever" - These insidious little statements may seem like nothing but repeated over and over without examination become part of your persona like it or not.

Recently, during a musical I worked on, one of the actors kept telling everyone how he broke everything he touched and he shouldn’t be trusted to carry anything. For the record, he did not break anything during our run but with those sort of statements he will be remembered as a person who breaks things. Even though he did a great job in the musical he lessened his own self-worth by repeatedly telling that story about himself.

For a few years now, I have tried to be more conscious about what I say about myself in front of other people. I try not to repeat stories to others that portray me in a negative fashion or doing something I’ve out grown. I don’t like defining my self by titles or descriptions and I try not to do that to others. I am conscious of self-criticism in front of my girls. I don’t bash my weight or my hair but I do realize that I talk a lot about looking old and not remembering way more than I should and I cringe every time I catch myself repeating some old story that does not ring true just to fit in with whoever I am talking to. I still have work to do.

One definition of the word pattern is a model or guide for making something. You use a pattern to make the same dress over and over again. You use a pattern stencil because you want the same shape repeated over and over again. The more patterns we act out in life the more we just repeat the same results over and over again. I, for one, am tired of a lot of the patterns I have been living out for the past 30 years. How can I grow or get new results when I am just repeating the same old patterns?

To change a pattern or a habit you have to be intentional and conscious about what you say and do –therein lies the difficulty. I will be the first to admit that I live most hours of my day unconscious and unintentionally reacting to whatever is happening at the moment.

I am not sure how I can quickly change that but I do know that since I've tried to be more conscious of what I say about myself and the stories I tell I have been writing some new patterns. Maybe awareness is the way to consciousness? I’m still trying to figure that one out! But I do know that we all need to keep creating new patterns because the old ones get outdated.

I wonder, what do you say about yourself? What stories do you continue to tell that should probably be retired? It's definitely something worth examining.

I am hoping this 100 day project will get me into some new patterns of making art and of sharing it. I have already found it to be difficult to fit in my day and I am only on day 8! Oh well, only 92 more to go…

Below are some of the quotes and illustrations from days four through 7.

If you are trying to take on something new this year I hope things are going well for you. As always, thank you for reading!

XO Beth

Day 7/100

Day 6/100

Day 5/100

Day 4/100

DIY Matchbox Shrine

Assorted matchbox shrines

Thanks to current world events you, like me, might be stuck at home with more time on your hands than usual. Here is a little project that I have had on my to-do list for a while. I wrote up a quick little how-to because I thought you might enjoy doing it as well.

1. Gather your match boxes and craft supplies. A little glitter and glue can turn something ordinary into something exceptional.

2. Empty the match box. Use the inner “box” part for the base and the outside “sleeve” to make the ornamental top and sides.

Cut the sleeve into two pieces. One piece is a middle rectangle the other piece will be the sides plus the other rectangle. The single rectangle piece will become your top. Cut the other rectangle piece, with the sides attached, down the middle to make the flaps for the side of your shrine.

3. Glue the side flaps to each side of your box. Shape the rectangle piece into something interesting and glue that to the top of your box.

3. After your shrine has taken shape and the glue dries add some papier-mâché to strengthen your shrine. I tore up tiny strips of newspaper and dipped them into watered down glue. Then I layered them all over the entire box. You can use a paint brush to layer the papier-mâché if you don’t like getting sticky. The papier-mâché will take a few hours to dry. This step will make the shrine strong and look like it is one form without seams.

4. After the papier-mâché has dried you will have a perfect little box you can decorate with paint, sequins, seashells, old pictures, computer print-outs - really anything that will fit in it. It would make a sweet little gift, a personal totem, a fridge magnet or even a grouping on your wall if you make a few of them.
I used small matchboxes for this project but big ones would be even cooler!

Have fun and stay healthy my friends!

Beth

“La Corona” Matchbox Shrine, Beth Dougherty 2020

“Ode to Aunt Kat” Matchbox Shrine, Beth Dougherty 2020

“La Sirena” Matchbox Shrine, Beth Dougherty 2020

“Shrine to Mary” Matchbox Shrine, Beth Dougherty 2020

Art Journal Q & A

Recently a friend asked my advice on what they needed to do to create their own “art journal.” I thought I would use this space to answer her.

So friend, you want to go down the rabbit hole of art journaling?

Like any other art related endeavor don’t be afraid to get caught up in it! The good news is, if you are a recovering scrap-booker, rubber stamp collector or other craft related junkie you can re-use all your supplies in your new art journal. - Just think - you don’t have to beat yourself up anymore for starting to scrapbook that vacation 10 years ago and loosing steam, you were planning to repurpose your supplies all along. It’s a good thing you bought those tubs of decorative papers and stickers… (oh wait, maybe I am just talking to myself here.)

Art journaling is a fun low-stakes way to allow your creativity to flow. Your art journal is your personal way of processing visually - whatever you want to. Here are some basics to get you started.

Here’s my journal. I did not follow the good paper rule and it won’t stay shut :-(

Choosing Your Journal

You will need a sketch book or “journal,” preferably without lines. Do yourself a favor and get the best quality paper you can afford. Paper is measured by weight, “lbs” pounds in the US and “gsm” grams per square meter overseas. The higher the weight the more paint, water, glue, etc. your paper will be able to withstand . Traditionally sketch books are made for sketching (duh!) so it can be hard to find one with a heavier weight. Several companies make a sketchbook geared to mixed media or mixed supplies 90lbs or 190gsm should do. If you want to go high end, you can use a journal with watercolor paper that weighs 140lbs or 300gsm.

Images from books, old patterns, handwritten notes, sheet music and book pages can all make interesting collages.

Just one of my image stashes.

Supplies

Stock up on Sharpie pens, magic markers, pencils, crayons, watercolor paints, etc. to add color and decorative elements to your page.

Collect a variety of images. I have several envelopes full of images that I have snipped out of magazines, clipped from newspapers, found on the ground or collected from other random places.
If a graphic or sentence catches your eye, grab it. You never know when you will be able to use it on one of your pages. If you really get into this journaling habit I recommend an accordion folder to organize your pictures by colors or words.

You can find all sorts of printed patterns and pictures in places you never noticed before. The inside of envelopes you get from the bank tend to have pretty patterns. Fortunes (from a Chinese restaurant) make a great starting quote for a journal page.

WARNING: If you print out an image on an ink jet printer, it will run if it gets wet from paint or glue.

Glue

The glue you use depends on what you plan to do on your journal page. For most pages a good quality glue stick will do the job. If you are using a thick almost cardboard like paper (think cereal box) you may need to use a liquid craft glue (Elmer’s school glue) and let it sit for 30 minutes. If you plan to layer over an image with paint or another medium then you will want to use something called “matte medium” if that is the case - Congrats! you are taking your art journal practice to the next level. Matte medium is a mostly transparent paste you can brush on the back and front of the image you are glueing. If you use matte medium the image will be bonded to the paper in a way that makes it pliable and easy to paint over.

An art journal is your personal place for expression and collection. You can use it to work through ideas, collect quotes or make quick sketches of your surroundings. I like to carry around a small bag with all my art journal supplies to pass time on airplanes or when I am in a waiting room (It’s a better than mindlessly scrolling on your phone.) It is very satisfying to look though all the pages you have done previously.  It is like you have made a special book just for yourself - a small time capsule of sorts.

An art journal is a great place to collect inspiring quotes. (Beth Dougherty)

In my journal, I often take notes from podcasts I’m listening to or things I’m thinking about. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

This art journal spread was a good way to learn the phases of the moon. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

Sometimes it’s just fun to collect images and see where they go. (Beth Dougherty 2018)

If you want art journal inspiration just search these hashtags on Facebook or Instagram. You can also use these hashtags if you post your journal pages on social media.

#artjournal #artjournalpage #getmessyartjournal #visualjournal #scribblesthatmatter #journalart
#artjournaling #sketchbookart #creativejournal #dailyart #artjournaljunkie

I hope this post inspires you to get started on your own art journal. There is nothing as soothing as following through on your desire to be creative in any endeavor!

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post please leave a comment or press the “like” button.

Happy Journaling!

Beth

Looking for Peace? Try Surrender

This month I am following along with Oprah’s podcast version of Super Soul Sunday. She and Eckhart Tolle are discussing his book “A New Earth” chapter by chapter. I have had so many wonderful moments of clarity rereading this book. Today I really understood surrender and peace.

Many years ago when I had younger children and did a lot of volunteering at their school and at church I was often tired, busy and dissatisfied. One afternoon while driving home from a painting class I was taking, I clearly heard the word “surrender.” It was not Morgan Freeman but it was commanding enough that I immediately began sobbing as I was driving. I knew that the word meant for me to surrender all the busyness, fear, doubt - surrender it all and paint.

At that time in my life I was pretty conflicted. I was in deep with all my volunteer commitments. My children needed my hands on attention and I was not yet ready to surrender and paint. That message, along with many others through the years, has haunted me. Even as I tried to push those feelings and urges down, always in the back of my head there is some part of me that knows I will never be happy until I surrender.

Since my double-hip replacement in January, I have been forced to slow down and surrender to my recovery. The hip replacement has given me the luxury of slowing down and taking more personal time for things other than errands. This morning was day two of breaking out the oil paints (after nine months of part-time art journaling) and getting back into a routine.

I did not know what I was going to paint or even if I had a spare canvas. I just knew I needed to paint. Luckily, I found an old half painted canvas, a reference photo and I went to town. It didn’t take long but when I was finished I sat back and felt at peace.

This reminded me of what I have been reading in “A New Earth.” In chapter two Eckhart Tolle references resistance as an inner contraction, a state of being closed up. When you are in that state nothing good can come to you. When you open up and surrender a new dimension of consciousness opens up. Instead of closing yourself off and fighting against life you will be in alignment with that creative intelligence that animates the universe. He says “you will rest in the peace and stillness that comes with surrender, you rest in God.”

This also brings to mind Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art.” He describes overcoming resistance and surrendering to your inner urge to create like slaying a dragon –everyday. After you slay the dragon there is peace in the kingdom but each day brings a new dragon.

Today after I finished my little rooster painting I had that wonderful feeling of peace. Jesus described it as the peace that passes all understanding. I know it won’t last but each day that I choose to surrender to my art I know that I will be rewarded with peace.

Peace is a powerful reason to do something. More powerful and meaningful than Instagram likes, followers, or a vague dream of making money. Those are the outward, ego demands we put on the ephemeral process of making art.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to practice surrendering again. I will try it, how about you? What brings you peace? Do you have something in your life that calls you to surrender to it? It doesn’t have to be painting or anything related to art. The Creative Intelligence that animates this world operates in endless ways.

Beth

Parents Rejoice - School's In...Peace of Mind Is Restored

Here I sit in limbo. I'm back in my studio surrounded by stacks of finished paintings and half finished pieces that are also in limbo, forgotten still life set-ups I could never make interesting and a pile of junk that has slowly accumulated all summer because there was no place else for it to go. 

This happens every year. At some point my steady creative output stops. Usually it coincides with summer and the kids getting out of school. That long relished break from schedules and committments turns into something else. I always have good intentions, I am going to keep a sketchbook or something like that but I usually end up literally closing the door (the studio door) on that part of my life.  

Then every year about the end of August I feel crazy and totally off center. It is always comes out of the blue and is always a mystery to me. I can't wait for school to start again so I can have time alone to think. The excitement of May and June quickly turns into the despair and depression of late August.  

It happens every year and yet I somehow forget. Then it dawns on me, just like its the first time - "Oh! Its the work! Life is not dramatic and melancholy. It's just time to get back to work - back to creating." Then relief sets in, creative plans are made, hope is restored! I'll ease back into my art the same way I'll ease back into exercise and healthy eating! (LOL)

Life has seasons. Nature knows this and takes its break in winter. Somehow, I always forget this important cycle and I am hard on myself. Not only plants but people and ideas need time to take root too.

Just like the rose awakens in March and pushes out its green tendrils, I am waking up after summer. I'm getting ready to put out some tendrils of my own and dreaming of blossoms to come. Now, instead of depression I am excited for this new season!

What do you look forward to in fall? Football? Cooler weather? Do you have new things starting that have been put off all summer too? Let me know by responding to this blog.

Thanks for reading!
Talk to you later,
Beth

another stack of paintings...

Future-Thinking is Keeping You in the Past

I am a chronic future-thinker. Perhaps you are too? Future-thinking means always looking to get or do things in that elusive future date.

A general example is "When I make more money I will take that class or that trip I have always wanted to." Some things I always say to myself are "When I am finally painting and making money from my art work I will buy those bigger canvases I need for that series." or "When I have painted longer and sold more THEN I will explore how to lead a workshop." or my favorite go to "When I am selling paintings and making money I will finally stop feeling guilty for not having a real job."

The fault of the future-thinking premise is that of course there will never be a future in that sense. There is only the present moment. The present moment is where we actually operate from and make decisions that affect our "future." Future-thinking is actually thinking motivated by scarcity and feeling that you don't deserve something because you are telling yourself that whatever you want you don't have but hope to in the future. Again, it's never the future, its always the present moment. So you never actually get what your future-thinking self wants. Confusing, huh?

To make a mental shift we have to realize that we already are whatever it is that we want. We have to make decisions from that place instead of the future. 

Example: "I am going to configure my budget (or get on a budget) so I can take that class or trip I want to.",   "I am going to buy bigger canvases for the painting series I am doing because it will help my goals as an artist." or "I am going to explore leading an art workshop because I am a painter." or "Painting is my real job and the more I do it the more successful I become."

Rewording the future-thinking makes me feel better immediately! Try it yourself by filling in your own blanks:
"I am going to ________ because I am _______" or
"I am going to _________ because it makes me feel __________."
"I am exploring _____________ now because it will be fun."

Personally, I am working on getting out of the habit of future thinking. We can't put off our happiness and yearnings to retirement or when the kids get older or when you lose 20 pounds. We are worthy of what we want now simply because we choose it. What are you choosing today?

Do you fall prone to future-thinking too?
Leave me a comment and let's talk.

Until next time,
Beth

The Street that Leads to Fun

Its been a month since my last blog post. Thank you dear reader for even remembering me. In a world that delivers the same news and advertisements to your inbox three times a day, I am grateful if this infrequent blog post makes it through the noise! I want to tell you what I have been thinking about and doing this past month.

If you read my last blog, I know millions of you did, I was writing about making permanent changes this year instead of New Year's resolutions. I think often of the things I want to accomplish in this life and wonder why those things seem to come so slowly. You could say I need more patience or you could say I need to go about it differently. Different is the keyword here and that is what I was trying to hit upon with the poem about taking a different street (read post here). 

So, what does different mean? Instead of thinking in terms of things to accomplish this year I am trying to do things that bring me joy. It seems a simple thing but for me it is really hard. Usually, I orient my day toward "What am I supposed to be doing to accomplish x, y, or z?" I guess it is my upbringing or maybe a factory setting, but for some reason I am usually nose to the grindstone, working hard and seriously at whatever I am doing. Going for the joy is radical thinking and a total identity shift.

This year instead of asking what should I be doing to advance my art career or earn money, etc. I am asking what will bring me joy today? What am I thankful for? What will put me in alignment with God? I am trying to change my "future-thinking" habit (more on that another day) to present "I am" thinking. 

So what does that look like? Right now, it is something totally new.

Since being in Germany we have had many new opportunities other than travel. My kids have been active this year in the Kaiserslautern military community theater and that has inspired me. Starting last fall I have been helping make props and paint sets for their show. It has been really fun! I have tried to be very careful and only do what is fun and not over volunteer.

This past month, I actually auditioned for the upcoming play "Inherit the Wind." I got a part! I was nervous as hell but I did it. I overcame my fear. We have had a few practices and it has been a blast. When you do something you want to do even though you are scared to death it is such a great feeling. No matter what happens, you know you have grown larger and that can't be taken away from you, even if the outcome is not what you expected. I have also put in a lot of hours painting faux cathedral walls, wallpapering and painting a jukebox. All these things have gotten me nowhere in my art career or whatever else I have been "seriously" pursuing – but it has been a lot of fun! Painting the props and sets is very satisfying. There is a great feeling of accomplishment to be able to look at something you painted on stage and say "Wow, I did that!"

So far this year that seems to be my different street. I am trying to ask myself often, throughout every day if what I am doing is bringing me joy. I still have to unload the dishwasher, clean the kitty litter, ferry the kids back and forth, etc.  and do things that aren't considered joyful but I am happier doing those things when I have been having more fun in the day. And I am more playful with my kids!

I have attached some photos of recent theater stuff.

Question for you: What brings you joy? There are 9 billion people on this planet there must be 9 billion different ways to have fun. What makes you smile? I want to know so please leave a comment below.

Until next time, I am off to do some laundry and make a papier maché hookah for the "Alice In Wonderland" production. Sounds like fun to me!

Beth :-)

Cathedral walls for Sister Act, in progress.

Styrofoam Jukebox before & after

Some well loved brushes in the theater workshop.

Honest Reflection On a Hole in the Street

It's January 4th and I am sitting here doing a mental round-up of the past year and contemplating my goals for the future.  

I have been putting off this self-reflection because the (depressing) truth is that there might have been small changes this year and years past but really, I am still in the same place in my art life that I have been for years. Essentially, I have a pattern of one step forward and two to three steps back. I have good intentions but how is it - without making too many excuses- that I find myself in almost the same place I've always been at?

What makes me uncomfortable to admit is that though my intentions are good or the vague goals I set are good, I am actually just living out a series of habituated, auto-pilot behaviors. 

This year I did paint a lot more, I did sell more paintings (18) and I posted more. But, I did not sustain it and I allowed my usual insecurities about money and worthiness to get in the way of painting, selling, posting and enjoying it even more. 

I used to say frequently to myself "I don't want to be 60 years old and still complaining that I don't have time to do "my" art." It occurred to me in this time of contemplation that 60 years old is only 14 years away!! (Gulp) What am I waiting on to really get this off the ground and accomplish the things I want to? I am not content to keep going in the same way that I have been, because inside I am unsettled and know I could be doing more. I don't want to regret all the ideas and pictures in my head that I am not allowing to come to life because of fear or complacency. 

I think what is really at the heart of it all is that I don't truly, down deep inside, believe it is available to me. I don't believe that having this life of my dreams (successful, money making artist and teacher) is an option. I could try to figure out why I feel that way and go over all the possible reasons but that does not change anything and only makes me think that negative thought even more. Instead of reinforcing that belief I need to change it. If a belief is just a thought you think over and over again, I need to reprogram myself with some new beliefs.

This poem by Portia Nelson sums things up beautifully:

THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I think I am teetering between chapters four and five. I am at the corner, I see the hole. I am standing here biting my nails, looking at the hole and also trying to see down the other street. The other street's view is obstructed so I don't exactly know what is down there. That's what makes taking it so scary and why I am hesitating about which way to go.

Can I live consciously in a way that will take me out of auto-pilot and down a brand new street?
Do I have the courage to try and live the joyful life I want?

All it requires is one step, but in which direction?

What are you contemplating for the new year? Leave me a comment and we'll talk!
Wishing you a lovely 2018,
Beth

How’s that Gratitude thing working for you?

Its been about three weeks since I started this little gratitude challenge and I wanted to check-in with myself and see if it has changed anything.  The honest answer is yes and no.

Sitting down and writing in my "gratitude" journal has been a good practice overall. Sometimes, my list comes much easier than others. Sometimes at the end of it I feel so happy and prosperous, other times I feel like I just phoned it in and checked the box. I had hoped this would make me feel like it is all unicorns and rainbows by the end of the month - maybe I'll still get there. 

Even though this practice has not done for me what I thought it would already, the cumulative affect is good. I find myself throughout the day noticing things or thinking "I am so glad that..." or "I am so thankful that…" I realize in those moments that two things have happened, I am in a state of present moment awareness and I am appreciating it.

Perhaps, instead of rainbows and unicorns that is really the place we are trying to get to. Being more present in life and appreciating what is already there for us. Of course, that is easy to do when you’re looking at a beautiful sunset or eating a delicious meal. "Level Two Gratitude" must be living more in the present moment and appreciating it, even if the sky is cloudy and the food sucks. That sounds hard and I am no where close to that.

Doing this gratitude practice has made me more aware of the language I use.  It has made me realize when I am negative about things. There is still room for improvement but they say the first step to change is simply noticing. So, hopefully, I am on my way to being a more positive person.

I have noticed a few of you on Faceboook doing this challenge. How has it been for you? I've loved seeing what you are thankful for. Has it changed or shifted anything for you? Please leave a comment and let me know. 

This week we have company visiting us for Thanksgiving. I am so excited to have our friends and have been thinking of gratitude related activities. Here are two, you may want to try them as well.

 • Gratitude grab:  
Warn your guests or family members beforehand if possible so they can have time to think. Ask them to come up with five things they’re grateful for. Provide strips of paper for people to write their gratitudes on. Put them in a bowl in the middle of the table. Take turns letting everyone draw and read a paper from the bowl. (This will work better with a smaller group.) Keep reading until each person's list has been read and everyone's had a chance to read. When you’re finished raise a toast to your shared abundance. 

 • Conversation starter:
Can you think of a person, place or thing that you weren’t so happy about at first but later it turned into something you are really grateful for?  It is good to recognize that sometimes our biggest blessings don't look that way at first.

Studio Update:

I continue to paint daily and work on different things. At the beginning of November, I put small Day of the Dead prints on Instagram and Facebook and told people to message me if they wanted one. I got a little over 25 requests. Many were from people I didn’t know. It was a lot of fun to make them and write on the back of each one. As people received their prints many of them emailed me a photo of where they hung it. The folks who received them seemed so happy about it that I felt blessed too. The whole thing inspired me to try and print my own Christmas cards. It could be a fun project for the whole family... I’ll see if I can get them made in time - if not you may be getting it next Christmas.

Sending you lots of love, 

Beth 

Day of the Dead print

Layest chicken painting, modeled after Ingre’s portrait of Mademoiselle Jeanne Gonin.

Mademoiselle Jeanne Gonin, by Jean August’s Dominique Ingres

Are You Wise or Clever?

My latest painting is about Wisdom, yes Wisdom with a capital W. Lately in the world I feel we are sorrily lacking it. I was recently inspired by Oprah's Super Soul podcast interview of Joan Chittister. Quoting Wikipedia "Joan Chittister is a Benedictine nun and an author and international speaker on subjects of spirituality, peace, religious life, and justice for all people, especially women and the poor." I was struck by so many things she said that I listened to it twice, back to back.  I particularly resonated with something she said regarding wisdom.

Paraphrasing Chittister: Because our society does not produce anything we have kept our young people out of the workforce by extending their education. We use retirement to get the older people out. Just when people are at their smartest, we quit asking them questions and essentially throw them away. We train our young to get ahead our middle aged to be consumers and our elderly to be silent. And, we wonder why our culture is obsessed with looks, tech gadgets and capitalistic growth. 

What we are missing and desperately need is the Wisdom! We've abandoned prosperity for capitalism and growth. It is not good for our souls or the planet. We are lost. We need the Wisdom teachers to show us how to find our way back! 

So I am putting out the call to you - our teachers, those that have been around the block. We don't need Facebook rants or more editorializing news reports - we need deep thinkers. Our media (social and otherwise) moves so fast that many thoughts and ideas don't scratch the surface. That is why Wisdom is more important now than ever. 

I am calling on those who have, through life experience, gained the wisdom to give us real guidance and solutions, not just opinions. Be silent no more. I, for one, am ready to listen. Wisdom Warriors and contemplatives, your thoughts will bring about our highest change. Perhaps one day we'll all find out -maybe just maybe- you are the pyshic glue holding this whole thing together. 

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Do you think society has marginalized the older generations in the name of growth and consumerism? Or do you think our salvation lies in the hope and energy of the young? Maybe it's a mix? Continue the conversation by leaving a comment and letting me know what you think. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! If you have more time I recommend listening to the referenced Podcast, Joan Chittister is thought provoking, hopeful and Wise.

Today, I am wishing for you the luxury of time needed and the space and peace to be thoughtful! 
Until next time, Beth :-)

• LInk to Oprah's Super Soul Sunday Podcast interviewing Joan Chittister, O.S.B 
You can also search Oprah's Super Soul Sunday If you have iTunes on your phone or iPad. 
• Link to Joan Chittister's webpage

A note about the symbolism of this painting:
The main image in this painting is the Barn owl. From the Egyptians to the Native Americans the owl has long been a powerful symbol in many cultures.The ancient greeks used the owl as an attribute of Athena the goddess of learning. They also used owls to guard the parthenon.  Beatrix Potter, A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh), J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter) and many more authors continue to reference and associate owls with magic, mystery and wisdom. 
The full moon represents the constant and dependable cycles of aging, going from new to full to darkness each month. The constellation in the upper right part of the canvas is Virgo. In astrologic mythology it was believed that this constellation was actually the last God to live with humans. This constellation and symbol of Virgo was associated with a renewal of culture in Renaissance times. 
This painting speaks to the interconnectedness of wisdom, cycles of aging and heavenly enlightenment.

Could the 1970's Be the Cure for Today's Problems?

I love looking at old magazines. Luckily for me there is a stash at my great-aunt's house. I especially love looking at magazines from the 70s. Yeah, the fashions were pretty ugly. Yeah, people had crazy hairdos. Yeah, the houses looked so dark with their brown paneling and decor that the people must have constantly walked around with flashlights. But, I still love looking at them!

If you can get a feel of an era based on articles and advertisements, the 70s must have been super chill. Half the advertisements are for liquor and the other half are for cigarettes. Judging from Reader's Digest and Woman's Day, people in the 70s spent a lot of time having cocktails, riding bikes and smoking. Those must have been fun times, back when you could drink and smoke and not worry about cancer or the effects of your second hand smoke on your children or, for that matter, people glaring at you for it.

Those times were also idyllic because people still had an attention span that was not ruined by their smart phones. Don't believe that people were smarter? Pick up any old magazine and you will find that it is mostly articles. Sure there are a few big photos but everything, even advertisements, have articles. Why should you buy that bottle of "Old Forrester" for your boss for christmas? Here are three columns worth of reasons for you. Why should you switch to "Southern Comfort" in all your cocktails and serve them according to your guest's zodiac sign? Here's a whole booklet inserted into this magazine for you to read. Why is this canned ham so healthy? Here is an entire dissertation on canned ham. Read it! You have to do something while you sit there and smoke. Now days you are lucky to get two sentences to explain a photo in a magazine. It's true, have you picked up People magazine lately?

I was a kid in the 70s so I don't really remember those years clearly. Certainly my memories are sifted, swirly daydreams of playing and feeling safe in my environment. I know not everyone had happy childhoods but for me the 70s were all about riding free on my bike and building forts in the woods. News of people dying in Vietnam or lying presidents or hostages did not make it through my bubble. When I look at an old Southern Living or Woman's day from the 70s I don't see it there either, I guess that's why I find them so comforting.  

So, if you ever find yourself down or overwhelmed with today's news. Get your hands on a few old magazines. Anything older than 1985 will probably do. You can daydream about how peaceful life would be if you were with those adults in the Tia Maria ad enjoying cocktails on a lamplit veranda overlooking a Jamaican resort beach. Exhale, Ahhhhh!

If you enjoyed this post please like it or leave me a message. Do you have a favorite nostalgic era? Tell me about it.

Until next time, enjoy a few ads from 1974 :-)
Beth

Unfortunately, what they don't tell you is that smoking will kill your taste buds. So much for that wine and quality cheese in the background. But check out that bottle opener - I want it.

Even admiring the sheets is enough of a reason to relax and enjoy your coffee and cigarettes. (Hey, I think my great aunt had those sheets.)

A bike ride, a picnic and a list of cockails to make - what a great afternoon.

Back in the 70's you didn't have to worry about political correctness or apparently eating disorders. This cigarette ad sends a not so subtle message about what smoking can do for your figure.

This ad is proof that our attention spans have shortened. I dare you to try and read it!

Meet the new Voyager, future van of choice for serial killers.

"Trappey's Yams" I just like the sound of it.

If the new iPhone X is too expensive for you get one of these babies, just under $25. It even comes in beige. 

See, I told you growing up in the seventies was great. We didn't need fidget spinners or video games. Look how much giddy fun we could have with puppets.

BLOG BONUS: Here's a nostalgic 1970's recipe for you.
(Now days we just don't use enough "molds" in our "salads.")

If you like looking at old magazines and poking fun at things we used to think were great, you will love lileks.com. 

Grief, Bird Feathers & Earnie Dalton

Grief is a funny thing, it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes the waves are bigger than others and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

Part One :

It has been a year since my good friend Earnie Dalton passed away. We were an unusual pair. He was a sixty something, formerly homeless and recovering drug-addicted black man and I am a forty-something, privileged white woman who has not seen the dark side of the streets. To say we came from two different worlds would be a gross understatement. Sometimes, there are people you are destined to connect with no matter where you are from or what you have in common.

We met at church. I was the church secretary and he was a parishioner. He used to give me his offering to put in the plate and I leaned heavily on him for plumbing advice. If you are open - small things can turn into big things. Those small interactions turned into long discussions over breakfast at Denny's, visits to his mother's grave and meals at my home.

It was August 2016 when he passed. We were moving to Germany that same week. I was so busy with the move that I was able to push all my feelings down deep inside. I missed the funeral and meeting his family and felt very guilty.

Periodically, I am overcome by waves of grief. They come out of nowhere and I feel that sense of loss again. I find myself trying to call on him as a "spirit guide". I am sorry I took any of our daily text conversations for granted. I miss my friend.

It occurred to me recently why he was so special. I know, no matter what, Earnie Dalton totally accepted me for who I was. He did not judge me. I always felt like he just offered me his unconditional love and support. What a gift! What a gift and a difference that makes to another person. True unconditional love is rare. To know that no matter what- you are accepted in another persons eyes is healing. It helps you love and accept yourself. Love for and between people you are trying to please or take pleasure in is not the same, those are conditions. Unconditional love is precious. Earnie and I had a lot of long conversations about the past, relationships, important things and ordinary things. He confided things to me and I hope that means he felt I offered him unconditional love and support as well. If not, Earnie, I am so sorry I fell short. I love you and I miss you and I am still calling on you up there!

Part Two:

I asked before bed one night for Earnie to come to me in my dreams and show me he was here in spirit. (I believe in things like that) I asked specifically for him to tell me what "our" sign would be so that if I saw the aforementioned sign then I knew it would be from him. When I woke up I was disappointed, I did not remember dreaming about Earnie (but that does not mean it did not happen.)

Later in the day I was walking my dog and spotted some large hawk feathers in someone's car.  I remembered that I had heard feathers could be symbols from spirit. So I said to myself and whoever was listening "Okay spirits, whoever is there and listening to me, send me a feather on this walk, I need a sign!"

So, for about an hour, I walked my dog- no feather. To be fair, during most of my walk I was distracted. I was taking photos for Instagram, I was looking at the dog, etc. I got about a block from home (I had gotten mindful in my walk again) and was starting to despair that I had not found a feather. I looked down and there on the sidewalk was a tiny, little black feather from a blackbird. My heart stopped, tears welled in my eyes and I knew it was Earnie. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and had the feeling that he was standing behind me. It made sense that it would be a blackbird's feather. Earnie and I talked a lot about race.

The little feather I found.

Later in the day, I was standing painting at my easel. My attention was drawn to the window. I looked out and saw a black bird fly right to the window. It tapped the glass and then flew to sit on a fence right outside the window. Then this bird sat there and pointedly glared at me. And I mean GLARED at me, then after a few moments it flew away. A bird had never done that before or since. I knew for sure it was Earnie. I think he came by just to prove to me that he really was here.

I believe he is here and where ever else he is needed, the same with the other people we love that have passed on. Somehow, inexplicably, they can come and go when we need them or maybe when they want to check up on us.

Since then I have found a lot of bird feathers. I always pick them up, say a little prayer and feel gratitude for all those Saints who are still in my life. 

I wish today for you to have a peaceful heart, to feel the love of those here and gone and to find a lot of bird feathers! 

Until next time,
Beth :-)

Just a few of the recent bird feathers I have found.

If you enjoyed this post please like it or leave me a comment below.

New School Year, Second Chance

I don't know about you but I always feel like the beginning of the school year is my chance to revisit and re-energize all those New Year's resolutions I made last January and have slowly let go of. I did not totally drop the ball but it is hard to focus on your to-do list when you have kids on summer vacation, wonderful family visitors and all the good beer and weather of a German summer.

Summer play time also brings good ideas. I visited a lot of beautiful places this summer, some famous and some not. All those images in my brain have to go somewhere - hopefully they will show up on a canvas this winter. 

My obsession with painting chickens is slowing down as I prepare for the next series I have in mind. It is going to be a lot more complicated than what I currently paint so I am summoning the courage to actually do it and not keep putting it off (it combines portraits and birds).

This year I also need to focus on actually selling artwork!
I imagine a lot of artists have this goal. I plan to research online marketing, ramp up social media and basically market myself which is really scary to an introvert like me. This month I am showing all my chicken paintings in the local library on Vogelweh Base here in Germany - which is a start in the right direction.

Next up - paint, paint, paint!

As I ease back into regular blog posts, here are a few art related posts from the summer.

Please leave a comment and let me know: How was your summer? What are you hoping to get done this fall?

Until next time,
Beth :-)

The beginning of yet another chicken... 

This little watercolor sketch was from the pool. Can you see the man that was in front of me? 

Giant tile mosaic in the Paris metro. 

Comparison Poison & My 10 Favorite Artists on Instagram

So lately I have been totally addicted to Instagram. There are so many artists and so much art, its obvious I was going to get sucked in. Yes, I know I am a little late to the party, IG is already saturated with art. There are millions of prolific artists all over the world posting daily. Most of the time it is really interesting to to see what people are working on.

For artists this is all brand new. It used to be that you had to search out other artists in guilds, classes or clubs. You had to buy expensive art magazines to see what the most elite group of artists were doing. If you were a new artist still honing your talent, forget it, you were stuck alone in your basement or at your kitchen table until you felt good enough about your work to put yourself out there.

Don't get me wrong, IG will never replace the authentic camaraderie and support you get from actual physical interaction with other artists. But it does democratize the system a bit, you no longer have to be represented by a gallery to show the world your art.

Here's the catch - as I scroll and scroll through my feed and see so much art - the good, the bad and the ugly included - it's hard not to get lost in all the noise. There are so many pictures posted every second that I can easily get down on myself. It seems so futile to post one of my own pictures, who is going to see it anyway?

There are so many amazing artists posting that I find myself playing the comparison game. I am really not even sure what I am comparing myself to. Other artists seem to be selling so many paintings, entering so many juried shows and relaxing with coffee in their amazing studios. My brain tells me this is their curated "highlight" reel but I still find myself comparing. 

In some situations you have to compare to know what you are getting but with social media comparison leads to jealousy and unhappiness. Comparison is all about ego and competition. What am I jealous of? Of other people's talent? Of their success? of their good? Maybe all of it. Wow, sounds shallow of me but aren't we all guilty of this on some level, social media or not?

Jealousy will always block our own prosperity, spiritual as well as financial.

How do you get out of that insidious comparison rabbit hole and recognize your own prosperity? By reminding yourself that its not a competition. Fear is the root of comparison. We are avoiding ourselves and focused on the other because we are afraid that even if we give it our all, it won't be enough.

How do we heal that fear? Hit it with love. Love your life. Love yourself, you are enough. Be grateful for your own good. When you are full of gratitude for what you have and do it is hard to be jealous and compare yourself to others.

When you are full of gratitude then you can look at Instagram and other social media for fun, to be inspired, to get new ideas and feel in community with others. "I am grateful and happy with my life!" that is what I have to remind myself when I am tempted to compare.

In the spirit of gratitude and inspiration here are my top ten favorite artists on Instagram. Click on the links to see their feed.

Ashley Longshore: This artist is ireverant and funny. She promotes self empowerment in a way that's fun. I love her art too.

Alex Callaway: This artists' still lifes are unbelieveably beautiful!

Lisaeks: Lisa Ekstrom's abstracts are simply wonderful.

Churchgoinmule: Artist Marshall Blevins' drawings and mixed media art (often including a mule) are lively and fun with a heavy emphasis on NOLA . 

Vanessa Cooper: I wish I could paint like this artist. I love how she incorporates birds, flowers and china in her paintings.

Gingerwoodturner: Franz Keilhofer makes beautiful wooden bowls. Plus I like seeing his big red beard frequently covered in sawdust.

Susan_Obyrne_Ceramics: I have a thing for Susan O'Byrne's ceramic animal heads. She takes faux taxidermy to a new level

Embroidery: Jenny Hart of Sublime Stitching is making embroidery cool again! 

Curvilinear: Amy Abshier's lonely paintings of women are characters that make you want to read their stories.

TrudyHarleyArt: This realist still life painter dangles everything by a string except her talent.

Augustwren: Jennifer Orkin Lewis has done so much with a sketch book and guache. Her drawings and colors are a delight.

Of course these eleven (I couldn't stop at ten) are only a drop in the bucket of the MANY talented artists I follow. Maybe you will want to follow them too. In the infinity of the internet I am grateful there is room for everyone!

A Glossary of Chickens

A Glossary of Chickens
There should be a word for the way
they look with just one eye, neck bent,
for beetle or worm or strewn grain.
"Gleaning," maybe, between "gizzard"
and "grit." And for the way they run
toward someone they trust, their skirts
hiked, their plump bodies wobbling:
"bobbling," let's call it, inserted
after "blowout" and before "brood."
There should be terms, too, for things
they do not do –like urinate or chew– 
but perhaps there already are. 
I'd want a word for the way they drink, 
head thrown back, throat wriggling,
like an old woman swallowing
a pill; a word beginning with S,
coming after 'sex feather" and before "shank."
And one for the sweetness of hens
but not roosters. We think
that by naming we can understand,
as if the tongue were more than a muscle.
- Gary J. Whitehead

I found this poem in a book of the same name. The book was in a box full of free stuff outside of a neighbors house. When I saw the title I knew I had found a treasure. I love chickens as I do all animals and like to believe they have personalities and thoughts just like people do. That may sound crazy, and yes, I do like to dress my pets up on occasion. (But that's pretty common, right?)

I like the last two lines of the poem. Perhaps by naming we are trying to understand, by painting we are trying to understand as well. I am not sure if we really do though. Maybe our brain like our tongue is really a muscle and not as capable as we think.

I recently went on a tear painting chickens. I thought of the series more like chicken portraits. I imagined grand lives and personality traits for each one I painted. Most of them are proud, one of them is gentle, one is really pissed off and one is inquisitive but really scared. Can you guess which is which? Here they are collected below. I hope you like them. There are definitely more to come...

Plymouth Rock Rooster, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas PURCHASE HERE

Blissed Out Chick, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE 

Sacred Heart Rooster, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas,   PURCHASE HERE

Black Rooster, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE

El Jefe, 16" x16", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE

El Jefe's Family Portrait Series, Part 1 of 3 "El Jefe", 12" x 8"   PURCHASE HERE

El Jefe's Family Portrait Series, 27" x 12"   PURCHASE HERE

Cheeky, 8" x 8", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE

Tan Rooster, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE

Plymouth Rock Rooster, 9.5" x 7", oil on canvas  PURCHASE HERE

If you liked these chickens leave a comment or buy a painting!

Talk to you later!

Beth

Relax, You'll Be A Great Success?

How do you define success?

Today  on Lewis Howes' School of Greatness podcast, I was inspired by his guest, graffiti artist Eric Wahl to really examine my idea of success. Eric Wahl said that after financial ruin at age 30 he decided to redefine success by things like having a nice dinner with his family. That made me think, how do I define success?

Without really examining it, I define success like I think most people do. Success is appreciation and financial reward for my hard work. And sometime in the future, when I have achieved a certain financial sweet spot... I will be successful. Then what? What does that really mean? What will I do when I reach that magical state of success? Well, for me when I dig down deeper and really think about it, it means I get to exhale and relax. You have earned it, you have nothing to prove - relax.

This may come as a surprise but I don't think I have relaxed since I left college. On the outside it might have looked that way but believe me on the inside I was making a list of what I should have been doing instead or what I would do when I finished "relaxing." My wistful college memories are not of crazy animal-house style frat parties but of long, languid afternoons laying around watching soap operas. (How many men Erica Kane, How many men?)

Success is a tricky thing - its tightly tied to our self worth. I think that was really at the heart of all the volunteering I did in my 30's. If I do X and it is successful it will make me feel good about myself. That raises my self worth and then guess what? I get to take a break because I deserve it. I can be easy on myself - Thank God, because I am really exhausted!

Unfortunately the formula of overachievement = self worth = success does not bring what you desire anymore than equating success to some undefined future goal you cling to. I am not saying success is bad or unworthy. I am not saying that volunteering is bad or having goals is wrong. What I am getting at is the WHY and the WHAT of your success.

When you know what the real WHAT is behind your goal or success then you can align with the WHY. Then all of a sudden you are where you really want to be and doing something you want to do on purpose. Your action is aligned with the right energy.

When I clear away all the outward shiny pennies of success like a nice house, nice clothes, fabulous vacations, etc. what it really represents at the core is the feeling of security in which I can let my guard down and just relax. I can enjoy the moment with out pressuring myself to do something I'm not really inspired to do.  The irony of the situation is that I do not have to achieve success or do anything or be anything other than in the present moment to feel relaxed! My real end goal is already here, I just have to let myself check into it. I have been spending all these years slogging from point A to B but really there is only one point and I am already there, I just need to realize it. There is no worthiness to prove, no amount of money or volunteering will make me more deserving. There is only one thing to do, grant my self permission to do what I want instead of making the story about some pie-in-the-sky hard journey to success. 

I will now say no big deal, time to relax a bit. "Yes kids, I can watch a movie with you." "Sure Doug, let's enjoy a drink on the patio."

When you give yourself permission to live the WANT or the success how does that change the WHY? Because, then you are doing whatever you are doing from a place of purpose and love. Instead of being tired and "having" to push to make dinner or push to drive to gymnastics, you're energized to make dinner because it will taste good. You clean the house because it feels good to be organized. You drive to gymnastics excited about reading your book there. The work you do and the volunteering you do come out of love for either the cause or what your paycheck helps you enjoy in your life. See the difference? It feels better and paradoxically gets better results.

What is your definition of success? Push beyond the boat or the Benz and and ask what success really looks like for you. Is it out there in the distant future or is it something you could start to bring into your life, at least a little bit, right now?

Maybe you have this all figured out already and are pursuing your bliss. I hope you do. For me, I am just gonna go try and relax a little.

Thanks for reading! If you have time, listen to the podcast link above.
See you next week.

Beth

Complementary Chick, 7" x 9.5", oil on canvas. Available soon at my ETSY shop.

Is Your Brain feeling a Little Tired?

This week my brain was tired. Do you ever feel that way? 

Believe it or not, painting is hard work. Yes, it's totally enjoyable, but it is hard work all the same. I have discovered that it takes about four straight hours of staring hard at something and trying to copy the colors and shapes before your brain starts to get tired and yell for caffeine or sugar. (Maybe that is just my brain... some brains probably yell for carrots). This week after painting so many days in a row my brain decided it needed a nap and a little switch up.

Instead of painting I decided to make stencils to use while painting. (art geek)

Everywhere you look there are patterns. Your iPhone makes it easy to record them. If you like playing around with mixed media or if you like playing around with scissors you might want to try and make your own. This would be a fun exercise to do with kids, how can you replicate the world you see around you?

I used a plastic folder with pockets (left over school supplies.) I drew the design on the folder with a sharpie then cut it out. Totally easy and now I have my own stencils.

This is only the beginning of pattern collecting. Tomorrow I'm back to painting! 

Finished stencils. 

Photographic inspiration while walking the dog. 

Balcony railings. 

Not sure what decade this is from... 

The painted stencil. 

Explorer's Diary, entry No. 1

Inspired by Keri Smith's book "How to Be an Explorer of The World, Portable Life Museum" I am going to do a series of blog posts as an explorer collecting data in the world. Being an explorer totally fits in with trying to live a more creative life.
As a kid, did you ever daydream that you were an explorer? I certainly did and I still do. An explorer is, in their heart, a seriously curious person - a person who is always looking for new things to observe in the world.

Explorer's Diary, Entry No. 1

Quickly record 10 things that you did not notice before you sat down, about the place you are sitting right now. 

1. Paint splatters on the wall.

2. Patterns of paint all over the protective tablecloth.

3. The shadows cast on the wall are blue. 

4. I have a red olive oil can for brushes. 

5. There is a small picture of my last dog, Fred, looking at me. 

6. I have a little statue of Mother Mary who, instead of facing forward, is slightly turned left and facing me directly - spooky. (I actually have two images of the Madonna in front of me)

7. There are 34 images of birds in my direct sight line.  

8. There are three pieces of art by other artists right in front of me. Two by the talented Billy Aaron Brown and one by Abbey Ryan.

9. I have lots and lots and lots of brushes but I mostly use just 3.

10. There is a picture of my art accountability partner (Anne Barnes) smiling at me from my bulletin board...she is reminding me to hold us both accountable! 

What good was this little exercise? As I pointedly looked around my space I felt so grateful for my surroundings. I love the things I have collected. I love all the bright colors and inspirational quotes. I love being reminded of special people! (BA & AB). Recognizing that all those things surround me was energizing.

Familiarity and habitual behavior can hide things in plain sight!

I challenge you to do this same exploration right now. Are you sitting at your desk at work? Are you sitting at home reading this on your phone? Stop what you are doing and really look at your surroundings. Make a quick note of 10 things you see. It just might change how you feel about your surroundings.
p.s. If you do this post your observations below.