Aw Chesnuts!

Today's daily Painting is Chesnuts. Europeans seem to love them. They have been in the grocery stores since the fall and you can always find them roasted downtown.

My memory of chestnuts is from my childhood in SC. My aunts had a huge chestnut tree. I don't remember ever eating the Chesnuts but the husks were always laying around the yard sharp and spiky, ready to stab your feet through your shoes. Summertime was especially treacherous.

Chestnuts are beautiful, if you really look at them. Wonderful tones of brown and umber, it does make you want to roast them up or put them in your stuffing. I found these two on the sidewalk but after painting them, I think I am intrigued enough to buy a bag at the store.

Detail of brushwork. 

Day Three Chilies

This is day four of the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge.

Painting-A-Day

Back to oil painting after about six weeks. I felt a little rusty but anything feels that way when you're not used to it. For example; I am also trying to start the year off right by cooking and eating healthier- that feels weird too! 

Best of luck to everyone else out there who is trying to start the year off right. ;-)

Day Two and Still On The Wagon...

Day two of the painting challenge is in the books! The family and I are lounging around the house and enjoying our last holiday before school and work puts us back into our routines. 

We woke up to snow on the ground and things seem to keep getting sleepier from there. (The dog is actually sleeping at my feet as I type this.)

I did manage to sneak into the studio and finish up a project from the online course, Lifebook 2016, that I took this past year. This gal looks a little bit like a gypsy but the message is right. Choose love!

Tomorrow it is back to oil painting after a month of mixed media. I can't wait! 

Habits, Resolutions & Mark Twain

"You can't throw a habit out the window, you have to walk it gently down the stairs."
- Mark Twain

Well here it is January 1st. I think I have been secretly waiting for the New Year to get back on track. Yes, the holidays got me a little off base. Resistance was tugging fiercely at my sleeves sometimes even tying my arms down. But now it is past Christmas and New Year's Eve so there are no more excuses.

The New Year is a time to take stock of all the bad habits you have acquired over the year or all the good habits you meant to make but really didn't. Most of the time habits are made totally unconsciously over a long time period so it makes sense that breaking a habit is hard and seems to take forever.  Creating good habits has to be done consciously and that makes it seem hard and creep slowly, painfully along - even if its just perception.

Yes, January 1st is here. Its the time to put your money where your mouth is and accomplish all those things you have been meaning to do all year. For me that means blogging more, setting up an email list and Etsy site, eating better, drinking more water and finally starting A Course In Miracles- whew! Those are a lot of good habits to create.

To help me make a serious commitment and start the year off right (because I love goals and resolutions) I signed up for a challenge. During the month of January I will participate in artist Leslie Saeta's 30 in 30 Challenge. Over the next 30 days I will attempt to paint every single day. Sometimes it will be a complete small painting sometimes it might just mean working on a larger piece. The point is to get in the studio every single day and do something creative. That is a big deal for me! I am the queen of three steps forward and two steps back.

January's goal: Each day I will paint something and do a blog post about it.

Three steps forward and two steps back still makes you one step ahead, right? 30 steps is really going in the right direction. Plus, thirty days just might be long enough to make it a habit I won't abandon by February like the gym or my gluten free diet!

I think Mark Twain might agree, thirty days is long enough to walk a habit safely up the stairs and leave it there.

Monday Morning Fear Check...

I am in a lucky place in my life right now. I have no crazy obligations and my husband is not screaming at me to get a part time job. I really have all day to paint, I just have to do it. 

Yet again, I feel I am standing on the edge of a cliff. I can step into my dreams, into my joy- yet I hesitate. When I say it aloud logically it's not a monumental or scary thing. Leap, create, paint, do what you have been saying you always wanted to do. Emotionally, as I sit here and contemplate painting or making art, that old fear rises and my stomach feels queasy. 

"Committ, to you my love? "

I know who's here, it's my old nemesis Resistance. It's been beating me for 25 years, always coming up with a cunning excuse or new argument for why it's stupid to chase my dreams. All I can do is take it day by day like an alcoholic. God grant me the courage to create today- to slap resistance off my back.

Maybe that is why  "artist" seems to be a negative archetype. The daily inner battle of resistance and fear - so I repeat my mantra: 

I love myself... I love myself... I love myself... l love...

love...

Explaining Inspiration

This week I spent a little time exploring a new creative process that turned out to be a blast. I want to share it with you because whether you make art or not, we all have the choice to look at the world around us and see what peaks our interest and create a life that's beautiful.

This process was taught by Tracy Verdugo on Tamara LaPorte's "LifeBook 2016," an online course I have been taking for the past two years. As an artist I am often asked where do I get my inspiration. Usually, I respond with "I don't know" or the equally vague  "life, I guess." But really, inspiration is everywhere - you just have to be willing to pay attention to the details. 

In this process, Tracy teaches students to make inspiration bundles as a creative prompt. The task was to go through 6 or 7 books or papers you have collected and tear out a random image (don't over think it) so that you have a stack of about 7 to 12 pieces of paper. Taking each piece of paper one at a time see what appeals to you and incorporate that into your piece. Below is my finished painting that, in the end,  I was very happy with. BUT - like everything in life - there was a catch...

"Little Details" 9 x 12" mixed media

This is my first image and it is not hard to see where the figure is represented. What WAS hard and what you do not see is that underneath all the layers there was a beautiful, painstakingly  painted re-creation of this woman in black and white. Then I came to my next image and had to  decide what to lose and what to keep. What to paint over and what to incorporate.

In the end it turned out to be a much more interesting painting because of what was kept and lost. That is how I see life. We can try as hard as we can to be something we think we "should" be, to hang on tight to those images and stories we want to tell about ourselves. However, the real beauty is in the details. What we observe, discard and layer. That is how we take our world and create a life that is authentic and worth living.

Each image below is represented in the finished product. Can you spot the inspirational details?

Yes, even a #10 envelope can be inspiring if you really look at it.

Sing in Me O Muse

Right now I am feeling thankful that I have this time to work in my studio and get connected back to my spirit and my art.

My usual M.O. Would be to rush into some crazy job or volunteer opportunity to create self worth. But instead of panicking, I am going to trust that my highest hope for myself and God's will for me are in alignment. My path (career or otherwise) is unfolding and I need to trust not panic.

Yesterday, I sat with my thoughts and called in the muse. Above is a picture of her surrounded by symbols of where I am and want to go creatively. She is colorful and bold - just what I hoped to call in.

"Sing in me O Muse, and through me tell the story." -a rough translation of Homer's invocation to the Muse. 

What are you thankful for today? Are you going to trust your spirit or panic?

Beginnings, Endings and Beginning Again

Ah life! It is a constant series of beginnings and endings and then beginning again. 
I finished up my five week stint as art teacher sub. Overall it was a blast, though it had its high points and a few low points. You could tell the kids were REALLY ready to be out of school by week three, and to be fair the teachers were too. I had a lot of great photos I wanted to share of monsters we created that somehow were lost on my phone... hmmmm.  Should I take it as a sign? Maybe I am not ready to get my teaching license just yet.

It's never too late to make good on a resolution...

...It's never too late to make a resolution for the new year
- even if it is February 2nd!

I could not believe it when I looked at the date on the last blog post. - November 13th? It’s been three months since I declared to say YES to more art time for myself.

It has not all been a bust. Art has been made. Time has been well used and wasted. There have been many Yes’s and No’s. I have just not shared it all publicly.

When I started this website and this art journal I had the goal of sharing my art and sharing some of my struggles and triumphs with whoever might stumble upon this site. I quickly found out that making art was much easier that writing a blog post. 

I tried to tell myself that I was too old and that blogging was for people younger than me. The younger generations have no problem baring their souls. Of course that is not true, age is only an excuse. I also tried to tell myself that I was avoiding it because I was afraid of failure. If I wrote a blog or put myself out there I would be opening myself up to failure and could I handle that? Of course that was not true either, generally, I have the optimism of Scarlett O’Hara.

What is true is this: I have not written a blog post in three months or promoted my art as much as I should have because I have been afraid to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is hard!  

Being vulnerable means I open myself up to the possibility that you may not like me, my art or what I have to say.

Being vulnerable means I take off the layer of protection I wear. When you draw attention to yourself you loose the safety of the herd. That is why it takes courage.

 Being vulnerable looks like me putting myself out there, creating art, talking about my struggles, fears and triumphs and saying “Hey, I did this.” 

This year I resolve to be courageous by allowing my armor to drop and to be more vulnerable.  I resolve to blog at least once a week and post my other artistic endeavors on Facebook and Instagram when they happen. I resolve to list all my paintings that are for sale on Etsy or some other marketplace. 

If I am not willing to do that, I need to pack up my paints and go home! 
Geesh, I hope this gets easier...

 

Thanks to Brene Brown for The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly.

Marie Antoinette may have gotten a bad rap...

This week has been fabulous! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I painted all day. I even managed to paint a little after getting the kiddos into bed on Wednesday night too.
I have to admit that just three days of creative endeavors has totally lightened my soul. Sounds dramatic but I mean it! I feel light and I don't have that low-level nagging guilt taking up air space in the back of my brain. 
Do some people really live life like this? Not having something hanging over them or having the feeling that they are wasting time on activities their choosing simply because they "should?"

Please Beth, remember this feeling next time you are racing off to some volunteer activity!
Hmmm, what will tomorrow bring?

What to do when life happens...

Well, if you read my first post you will see that I declared myself an artist

"With God as my witness I will not be distracted by busy-ness again."

Unfortunately, I was immediately distracted again. Life happens! Luckily, it was to entertain a beloved relative... so I am not really complaining. We did manage to spend a day creating abstract paintings and a day at the art museum. We also sat by a fire pit and listened to the baseball playoffs on the radio, old school.
Not necessarily creative living but really good for the soul. Sometimes it is just nice to do something you normally don't do. 

Everyday Busy Bee, 9x12

Primary Colors, 9x12

painting by Billy Aaron Brown

I am absolutely in love with this mixed-media technique! (Cousin Billy Aaron Brown and I worked on these paintings one day during his visit.)  It involves layers and layers of paint, charcoal, watercolor and collage. It is so free compared to my usual oil paintings. It's fun to see the little bits of paper I obsessively save finally used on something. (I found the large pink number on the sidewalk the day I did this piece.) It is a great way to take a break from painting and inspires me to do other paintings. - The first two are mine and the third one is Billy's.

Photo of Billy Aaron Brown in a Sculpture at the Smithsonian American Art Museum